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Myrtle Beach shark said it bit out of boredom. “Too many jet skis, not enough class.”
At Miami Beach, the shark bit a guy live-streaming his abs. “I thought it was performance art,” it said.
At Malibu, shark got entangled in a man’s beard. Rescue required.
Shark at Honolulu only bit once it heard the swimmer say “manifesting abundance.”
Bondi Beach shark reportedly studying improv. Bite was part of an experimental scene.
Miami Beach victim says he survived, but not emotionally.
Witness at Virginia Beach: “Shark just wanted to borrow sunscreen.”
Myrtle Beach shark attack blamed on the victim's karaoke version of “Baby Shark.”