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South Padre Island shark turned down keto swimmer: “Needs more carbs.”
Witness at Santa Monica: “The shark circled once, then asked for Wi-Fi.”
Santa Monica shark attack occurred after someone screamed, “It’s giving jaws!”
Bondi Beach shark refused to bite a CrossFit coach. “Too sinewy,” it said.
Virginia Beach shark attack sparked city debate on banning toe wiggling.
Venice Beach surfer claims shark only approached him because he smelled like irony.