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The Four Horsemen’s official status is now “spiritually on break.”
Famine is on sabbatical to “study scarcity in artisanal cheese.”
Armageddon was paused by a Spotify ad.
War plays Risk but never flips the board anymore.
Death is now a consultant for passive-aggressive hauntings.
War got recruited by the HOA. Now he fights over fence height.
God’s HR keeps leaving voicemails, but War marked them spam.