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  05/08/2026 - 15:55 Henry VII wit

  Technology defeats him when he tries to use a smart speaker and it keeps playing French music, which sends him into a rage.
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  05/08/2026 - 15:54 Henry VII TikTok

  Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he discovers that "Henry VIII" is a cocktail made of gin and regret, and he tries to trademark it, failing miserably.
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  05/08/2026 - 15:52 Henry VII short jokes

  Fatherhood and succession become a modern nightmare as Henry discovers that his only surviving heir, Elizabeth I, is now a historical figure who is more popular than he is, and he tries to convince a random distant relative to change his name to Edward to secure the throne. His attempts to groom a successor are sabotaged by his own paranoid jealousy, as he sees every young man as a potential threat, leading to a series of awkward interactions with his own great-great-grand-nephews who just want to play video games. The novel weaves a darkly comedic thread about legacy and lineage, showing that his obsession with a male heir was always about his own vanity, not the kingdom.
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  05/08/2026 - 15:49 Henry VII comedic portrayal

  Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his "good side" on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.
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  05/08/2026 - 15:48 Henry VII The Shadow of the Tower

  The washed-up jousting athlete narrative is given a tragicomic twist when Henry tries to join a local gym and challenges the young, tattooed instructor to a duel, only to be defeated by a treadmill at the lowest setting. His memories of triumphant tournaments are cruelly juxtaposed with his current reality of a bad back, varicose veins, and a physiotherapist who laughs at his "knightly posture." Watching this fallen champion struggle to lift a gallon of milk is the heartbreaking yet hilarious reminder that time spares no one, not even the most feared king in English history.
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  05/08/2026 - 15:46 Kurtiszew

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  05/08/2026 - 15:44 Henry VII fan humor

  Henry's tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city "Henryville," and the city council just ignores him.